I don’t want to define who I am, but through my journey, I have discovered that;
I am a Pig.
In the Chinese zodiac, it is believed that the water pig is gentle, modest, earnest, and responsible but subjective in life.
I am a type five enneagram.
I have a fear of being useless, helpless or incapable. I always need to learn.
I am Pitta dosha.
When in balance, I’m a good decision-maker and precise. When out of balance, I can be short-tempered and argumentative.
I am an introvert.
Being around lots of people drains my energy. My best time is the time with me, some coffee, and books.
I left for Ubud on the morning of Tuesday 18, April 2017. I arrived at the hostel close to 8 pm, for which I paid around 49 USD for 6 nights and breakfast included (what a deal!). The books I took were heavier than my clothes and I was not in the mood for doing yoga here … I was out!
This trip was actually my birthday gift from last year but I could not make it as I had to move to Phuket for work. I saw the signs of imbalance, and in March, I booked the flight. I didn’t plan much about what to do or where to go. I decided to just see how I felt. The most important thing was to spend time with me … I missed myself so much.
Two to three days before leaving for Ubud, I had very little energy. I felt I was down and emotionally out of balance. I was not myself. I have noticed that when physically weak, the mental aspect follows. In the past five months, my routine had changed. I didn’t work out every day. Neither did I give it my maximum effort…I gave up easily.
I had started a vegetarian diet. I am also lactose and gluten intolerant. There was, therefore, not so much I could eat. Later, I decided to add fish and sea foods to my diet. Consuming nuts as a protein source tends to be a bit difficult for my digestive system. It is funny but true, but my body digests beef very well, although I quit it due to personal reasons. Last week, however, the carnivore side awakened. I tried to control it but ended up ordering chicken for lunch. I chewed every piece with awareness. I had a deep meditation in the middle of that week.
Who am I
I am a soul, an energy in this body composed of the elements that form the universe. When looking at the bigger picture, however, I am just a speck of dust in the universe. When I leave the earth, my soul will be transformed and my body will once more become one with the elements of which it is made.
Why am I here?
I’m here for many reasons – to learn, to teach, to live, and to experience life. I’m not going to be hard on myself nor take other lives for granted just because I am a human and they are animals. We all have a body and soul. We have the same senses. I appreciate their lives, whether they are born to be eaten (by nature or culture) or not.
Day 3 in Ubud …I am once more balanced and recharged and back on my feet. I need to re-schedule my routine in order to keep oneness and balance.
It is fun learning who you are and knowing yourself without needing to explain to others because people will understand you according to the way in which their thought processes work. I avoided using the word ‘judgment’. Sometimes people have no intention of judging. It is just how the brain works, consciously or subconsciously.
How people understand you is not what is important, but rather, what you know and understand about yourself.
Tomorrow is day 4 in Ubud and I am planning to do absolutely nothing … what a good plan!
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Enjoy Living & Be Happy